The Clock on the Wall

I swear I just wound that clock a few days ago and yet today it sounds lethargic again. Trying its best to make the effort to chime, but not feeling quite up to the task. So I wind it to put some pep in its ring.

If only it were that easy for people. And right now, what I mean by people, is me. I need that big hand that comes with the key and winds me up when I'm feeling as wound down as the clock.

I guess I should phrase that a bit differently, because I can get pretty wound with no one's help - it's not in a good way though. Just like my clock, over-winding is almost worse than just winding down. When I over-wind the clock (and I have) it takes awhile for the mechanism to loosen up enough to do what it's supposed to do. And sometimes, it's been over-wound to the point it's going to take a repair expert to put it back in working order.  For instance, while this clock rings the Westminster Chime on the quarter hour, it no longer counts the hour. It does what it can and I debate whether it's worth having it fixed, or I'm okay with just enjoying it as it is. (Do I really need it to count the hour when I hear it at 3:00 am and wonder why I'm awake? I don't think so.)

I can't decide if I've wound down or been over wound. So I look for the key.

I read books, knit, organize, search for a new interest (jewelry making anyone?) ... all the things that I have used, in the past, to come back to balance. But I wonder if I'm not over-winding right now. When I feel the inertia begin to set in, rather than just let my body and mind unwind, I work hard to wind back up. Not always successfully. 

Have I got myself so wound up, that while I can ring the Westminster Chime, I can no longer do the easy thing and simply count the hour?

In my study of psychological type, one theory is, when stressed, we try to overcompensate by stepping up our strengths and using them at full throttle   When that doesn't work, we move to the complete opposite as we look for the center. Like a pendulum. I'm action oriented, so stress makes me move at, what can seem like (at least to those around me) warp speed. 

I over wind.

And then I stop. 

Period.

Because the opposite of over action is no action. Until my internal mechanism loosens up a bit, I can't count the hour, in fact, by then I can barely chime. Now when I say "no action" I don't mean relaxation. I mean not moving, along with a mind that is frantically trying to figure out what's wrong and how to fix it. I keep trying to wind and only manage to continue tightening the spring. Thus a vicious cycle begins.

So, is it better to look for the key and keep winding or just wind down and let the springs relax for while? That is the question I keep trying to answer ... it seems like an easy one, it's not.

Now, where is that damn key? Do you have it?