Paying Attention - To What?

And now, a dramatic reading from my elementary school report cards ... (ahem...) 

Let us begin.

Grade the First

Leslie is a capable child. She is a daydreamer and this causes her to make careless mistakes.

Grade the Third

Leslie seems more concerned with the outside activities than with her schoolwork.

Grade the Fourth

She daydreams too much (with the caveat: Has creative ability)

Does not like the subject (Math) so daydreams while class is going on.

Grade the Fifth

Needs to pay more attention in class.

(I left out multiple comments from the same teacher. Seemed overkill when other teachers could help emphasize the point.)

Forty-nine years later, I have no idea what I was daydreaming about. I obviously did it. A lot. 

Likely I was trying to find an answer — just not to the question at hand. Or, maybe ... I thought the answer was out the window.

And while I'm sure Science and Math were more important, I can clearly picture myself, sitting in a classroom, staring out the window — watching the outside world. To this day, it is a vivid image.

I can't picture what was on the blackboard (based on the report cards, it would be fair to deduce it was either Math or Science.)

Mrs. Harris would be proud of where I am today. After begging my parents to discuss, with me, overcoming my 'fault,' I did indeed make it through, not only, fifth grade (she was very concerned — I believe 'afraid' was the word she used) but high school, college and graduate school. I've had a successful (depending on the definition) career. 

At some point, back then, I started to pay attention. My grades went from mediocre to those of an honor student. I learned that daydreaming was a waste of time and unproductive. That what was taking place external to me had more value than what was taking place inside of me, through my daydreams. I learned others had the answer. I didn't.

Sit down, shut up, do as you're told.

The answer is not out the window.

Pay attention.

But, sometimes what's going on inside of you is trying to tell you to pay attention to what's happening outside. 

Some call it intuition, some call it a gut reaction. It's that nebulous thing you can't ... quite ... put ... your ... finger... on.

You are paying attention. 

Just not to what others want you to pay attention to. 

All the while believing your intuition isn't trustworthy, and others still have the answer.

Maybe 'they' were wrong. Maybe daydreaming isn't a waste of time. Maybe they don't have the answer. Maybe your intuition is on the mark.

So I sit in my office and stare out the window at the trees, the traffic and life that is out there ... knowing I should pay more attention to what is going on in the office and less attention to what's going on outside the office (see Miss Zachary, I can be taught, I just can't be forced to conform, even after all these years.) 

Because maybe, the answer is out the window. And if I stare long enough, it will come to me.

Does that cloud look like an elephant to you?

P.S. I shared this before posting - and the first thing they said was "Interesting that at the end you say you can't be forced to conform. And yet, it's obvious you have."  Must think on that.